That is the million dollar question when you have lost a child to sids or sudc and to be honest, I don’t think it really does.

Time makes it harder, all those milestones you miss.  For us time will alway stand still at 16 months.  No more Christmases, no 1st day at school, no more holiday memories. Sometimes you can feel guilty for feeling like that, envy of others who get to do all these things. Always wondering what sort of man James would have turned out to be.

But despite all of that, we wouldn’t have changed a thing.  We have so many great memories, yes we would love James to still be here, but it wasnt to be and to make it worse we have no answers why it wasnt to be.  But that’s just the way it is.

But one things is for sure we will never forget him.

So all you families out there who have lost a child, stay strong, keep those memories alive, talk about your lost child.

 

 

 

When you are hit with the most horrendous time in your life, losing a child, you are quite often totally lost.  Yo are in a situation you never thought you would be in a million years.  So where do you turn?

If you are in Scotland like we are, The Scottish Cot Death Trust is a good place to start.  James didn’t die of cot death (usually the death of a child up to 1-year-old), he died of SUDC (unexplained death of a child over 1), so initially we though they would not be able to help.

But no, they have all types of support, including counseling services.  So if you don’t know where to turn, try getting in touch with then, its difficult to admit you need help, sometimes its a year or more after your loss that help is needed.  Dont be afraid to ask.

Heres the link, maybe they can help you too……

https://www.scottishcotdeathtrust.org/

 

Tickets still available.

 

Until your faced with the horror of losing a child unexpectedly over the age of one year old you probably have never heard of SUDC.  We hadn’t until we lost James and even then it took months to get a death certificate confirming SUDC.

So, what is SUDC, it stands for sudden unexplained death in childhood.   It’s used when a child over the age of one passes for no apparent reason.  But, where there is lots of funding/research/information on SIDS, there really is very little know about SUDC.

This is something we would like to change here at Baby James legacy.

This week we meet with the pathologist who  carried out James PM. Maybe we will get some answers.

In the meantime, we are asking for your experiences.  We are reaching out to other families to share their stories with us.

 

 

 

 

A year ago today was probably the hardest day of our lives.  Yes, every day is hard when you lose a child, but this day was particularly hard because it was the day of the funeral.  The day no family ever expects to have to arrange.  The sight of that little coffin breaks our heart thinking about it now.

But, a year on, we are still here, living, surviving, getting on with life.  So yes, there is life after death.  Not saying its easy and there has been bumps along the road.  We will never forget James, and him memory lives on in all of us.

So for every family out there who is just starting their road of losing a child, live your life, remember your child with love and happiness and live every minute in memory of your child.  make them proud.

 

 

Today is the founding day of “snuggle blankets”.

A year ago today Michaela Street, the founder of Angel Wings, after a lot of researching and a conversation with a Funeral Director,  made the decision to provide Snuggle Blankets through Angel Wings.

Michaela then asked us, the family of James Zander Anderson, if the first one could be gifted in memory of James and we were thrilled.  It was a very hard time for us all, we had just lost James, everything was a blur and we still had the funeral to contend with.  But it seemed right, something positive out of what was such a tragedy for us all.

With the help of the collection at the funeral, ribbon boxes from Angel Wings and donations to the go fund me page,  the first snuggle blanket was soon gifted.  But the money kept coming so fundraising carried on.

Then other families also wanted to fundraise for Blankets in their child’s name.   3 were gifted and so The Baby James Legacy was born.

Exactly one year on, what difference has James made?

11 Snuggle Blankets in total, with 6 funded by the family through the baby James Legacy go fund me.  The 6 were:
1. Jamie Rodgers Funeral Directors Aviemore.
2. Raigmore Childrens Ward, Inverness.
3. Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital (in memory of Manchester 22).
4. The Highland Hospice.
5. Edinburgh Sick Children’s Hospital.
6. Aberdeen Children’s Hospital.

Five others have been donated by families all over the UK with more being funded every day.

So now we are here,  with our own Webpage & Facebook page but still working together with Angel Wings Baby and Child Loss Support, Forever Dressed In Love & Amy’s Wings.

James Blankets have sadly been used but that has provided families much comfort and extra time.

We are now going into year 2, 3 more Blankets are  being fundraised by us here at the baby James Legacy,  this time for Royal Childrens Hospital in Glasgow, a 2nd Manchester Hospital in memory of the 22 and Crosshouse Hospital in Kilmarnock.

So all we can say is , thank you for all your support and long may we carry on with gifting blankets and keeping James name alive.

 

 

As some of you will have already read from our blog the other day, we work hand in hand with Forever Dressed in Love.  This is an appeal they have just put out, if you are able to help with stamps, please pop over to their facebook page. 

These packs are so important to families.

♦️🔹COULD YOU HELP with our AWFDIL STAMP APPEAL♦️🔹

Sadly, Due to a high number of requests for us to gift our AWFDIL packs-we are in urgent need of postage stamps in order to fulfil our continued commitment to recently bereaved families.❤️

Exciting news, as of today you can now purchase our lovely hand made light bottles from Dalraddy Holiday Park shop.  Lots of different designs, ideal Christmas presents and only £8 each.  All funds raised goes towards our snuggle blankets.

 

Exciting news, we are doing it again next year.  And this time we are doing all 4!  Glasgow, Aberdeen, Dundee and Edinburgh.

So if you fancy joining us, click on registation and when asked for the cause you want to walk for chose “Angel Wings baby and Child loss”.

You can chose the Mighty Stride (about 25 miles), the Big Stroll (about 15 miles) or The Wee Wander (about 5 miles).

https://www.thekiltwalk.co.uk/

 

A lot of people ask the question when we are fundraising “what is angel wings?”,”where does the money go?” or “it’s just cots and blankets”.  In this blog we will try to explain the whole Angel Wings concept and take away the myth that its just cots and bankets and death.

Angel Wings baby and Child Loss Support

This was the initial Facebook page which was set up.  First and foremost it was set up as a support group.  Looking after all baby and child loss from miscarriage/stillbirth to older children lost due to sids/cancer/suicide etc.  It didn’t matter what the age.  It took quite a while before the “cuddle cots” started to be donated.   However, due to lots of hard work and many different forms of fundraising, 148 cots have been gifted.  However, this was never the main focus of Angel Wings. It still remains a channel to help families who have lost a child.

Support Groups

Private support groups have been set up.  These are for all types of support.  Theres granny groups, rainbow groups, parents etc.  In total 14 of them.  These groups are totally private and where you can vent or talk to people in the same situation as you have found yourselves.

Angel Wings Forever Dress in Love

This group does amazing work.  They supply all sorts of packs to be sent out to families who have lost babies.  This is all done through volunteers making clothing for babies with donated wedding dresses and also knitted items.  But funds are required for postage etc.  Hundreds of packs get sent out every year.

Angel Wings – Baby James Legacy

We are the new page.  Initially fundraising was done under the Angel Wings baby and Child Loss Support group with only one blanket being fundraised and gifted.  Blankets were never funded through Angel Wings previously, this has only happened since the passing of James Zander Anderson aged 16 month.  But, as so much had been raised, it was suggested that the Baby James Legacy be set up.  The Baby James Legacy is so much more than just blankets.  It’s about keeping James name alive and doing good through the tragedy of his passing.   So far we have raised £25,000 in a year, this has been helped out by the main site of Angel Wings too.  This has funded 6 blankets but another 4 has also been gifted with the help of Angel Wings main site, helping other families to fundraise.

This year we have also created the beautiful garden in James name with all your stars.  We have done some positive awareness too with the defib stickers.  Its advertised Angels Wings while doing something positive in the community.

Going forward we will carry on fundraising for blankets but will also look at other forms of helping in the community as first and foremost we are about keeping James name alive and helping others.